/metal/

Asiatic Fartblaster Edition
faq off with your nonsense

FUCKING SLAYER

Lol this is fucking terrible

youtube.com/watch?v=bx8nsTxqcBc

Has Gaahl always been a total hack or is he just washed?

how the fuck do I hide the op image

ULTRA BASED

Do you think he could beat up Varg?

he's just gay

ÖÜGH

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Suck eggs

how the fuck do I hide the op image

Fuck Varg he’s a pussy

Gay people cant make good music

Just an average /metal/ poster

A reasonable assumption. That country does produce some unreasonably good metal per capita. By 'leaf' I meant 'page from your book', but at this point I'll roll with either interpretation.

A reasonable assumption.

I'm looking forward to Varg's feature on the next Gridlink album.

Us metalheads have it hard. I get beaten up almost every day for being who I am. I have long hair, a beard that I colored purple, I wear spikes everywhere, only wear the most gruesome metal shirts and my battlevest every day. Here in Serbia the hipphoppers are kings of the street, they always beat up the gay and the metalheads. How can we fight this? Metalheads need to united.

I am the Bruce

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I like Troye Sivan though

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE BLASTINGS YOU TWATS

Wear a Bathory hat, it would probably net you some points; enough to not get beaten up…? I don’t know but try moving to a different country

I just roke up

Heavy metal maniac here. All of y'all are stupid kids with your load ass screaming music. Where are the falsettos? Where are the solos? Time to get real kids.

Go back to your containment

If anyone ITT wants to try to out-English me, please reply to this post. I assure you sirs I am the comptetentest

Sprechen zie Deutsch?

Yeah I agree.Rock and Roll forever. This dead metal stuff is for idiots! Ozzy would cry if he heard that stupid noise.

Who cares go fuck a fleshlight

Mein Name ist Winston und ich stecke mir gerne Kanadischen Bacon in mein Arschloch.

Varg Burzum never made a good song.

What is the numeric value of your country? Mine is 2/45

zie

Sie*

No fuck you
I reject your reality and substitute it with my own

Nein. Ich verwende Google Translate! Und ich höre keinen Deutschen Metal. Bitte schick mich nicht zum Duschen!

Based

Artist: Darkthrone
Album: Panzerfaust
Song: Beholding The Throne of Might

And destruction upon the holy man

Who hails a jew

What metal would Naruto listen to?

Japanese power metal

saving and sharing a photo of a dude wearing a diaper in a music thread

can you contain your autism please? this gross shit is gross

Sorry bud, this is cliquer hours.

786

Inquisition

HEIL
... but I also do like Megadeth

Has Trey been to rehab yet?

Just another one of many Heck humiliations

Nothing wrong with wearing a cacanappy.

Rock you like a Herman Li

KVASIR'S BLOOD - THE ETERNAL RETURN

cover.jpg - 443x446, 82.78K

Hermann Ri

Trans musicians are the best

Thank you modgolem

No problem gentile

Do you remember the episode of the Osbournes where Ozzy throws beer bottles at Kelly for sharting in the pool?

HAIL MERCY GOD OF NONE

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That’s dirty go watch shit on TV

Ozzy once pooped in the shower in one of the episodes and the dog named Mr. Biggums ate it.

Cliquer garbage.

Kelly

queen of /metal/
HEIL

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luv me Himalayan field recordings

simple as

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One of Jack's dog was a really fat bulldog named Winston that he always beat up. Ozzy even wrote a song about being gay with him.

Terribly unfunny as always, Trooni. I would say you should quit while behind, but spamming here 16 hours a day is all you have.

Did you see the episode where Sharon was forced to eat a diarrhea cake because she lost against Ozzy in checkers? Ozzy wrote an entire album about it.

It's a curious thing: no part of the OP complies with the rules, which claims -

Off-topic; all images and discussion should pertain to music, artists, and instruments.

Yet, the thread will max out and archive, unchallenged by moderation. Why do you think that is?

Why do you talk like a gay Harry Potter character

they tried to send him
but he wouldn't go, go go

I code, and yeah. Pretty much.

Eat shit

:B

I heard it was just a playlist on Spotify

Why don’t you?

Reminder she was bred by a Slipknot chad to create the ultimate metal musician

Lol

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No one gives a shit about Slipknot apart from that one song so stop shitting the thread up

Do you remember the episode of the Osbournes where Sharon discusses renewing her wedding vows using a rabbi? Kelly protests, stating, "Dad is the least jewish person in the world."

I love how beatdown this is.

111.jpg - 3000x3000, 3.73M

what kind of metal do schizos listen to and why is it NSBM?

The only Osbournes episode I remember, and I’ve seen them all, is the one where Ozzy goes to the fridge and goes “SHARON, WHYS THERE SO MUCH BUTTER IN THE FRIDGE”

No one knows what NSBM is unless you’re talking about Burzum or Ildjarn, but I would say schizos listen to the voices in their head, as per the term ‘schizo’

I haven't watched the osbournes since it was running. My dad liked it.

Ozzy hadn't seen Last Tango in Paris.

The best Osbournes episode was when Jack spiked Ozzys diet coke with LSD and Ozzy beat a hamster to death with his shit-filled diaper.

Thanks for the unfunny clique spam.

that one song

...which is?

I don’t know what you are saying but I’m gonna stop posting now

coincidentally I rellistened to the first ozzy album today and...it's still painfully mid and I don't like his voice
more like blizzard of pozz

HEIL AZAGTHOTH

Diaper Wizard Pozzy "The ugly, demented, Parkinson-having Whoreson that everyone hates" Cuckpourne has tragically passed away after his diaper rash led to infection.

Its cIiquespam from Troony.

They spam the general with constant unfunny incoherent garbage, the memo across Anon Babble as a whole is not to shut it down, but to gradually make posting here less and less interesting. This is true across all generals and all boards. Everything is being flooded with SHIT at all times, nothing clever, nothing interesting, and 0 (zero) real OC.

Ever notice how Troony and Ratthew never actually say anything of any real comedic value, they make no OC, they don't even listen to the genre of the general. These are the people most prized by the clique, their greatest unknowning warriors who ensure that every thread and every post is less interesting than the last.

IF YOURE FIVE FIVE FIVE IM SIX SIX SIX

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HEIL

they don't even listen to the genre of the general

Do you?

:3

Sounds about right, I think that the whole psy op is gonna hit the fan soon

These covers tell me everything I need to know about what the contents contain within

I'm unable to play guitar sitting down, it keeps sliding off my leg plus it's uncomfortable as fuck for my hands. I tried every fucking position and none of them works. Do I really have to practice standing up for the end of times?

lol cringe

I weigh 743 pounds, I cant stand up at all but I play a mean axe. Just buy a smaller one if you are too weak or too fat to play.

Are you getting neck dive? Use a strap and tighten it so the guitar just barely rests on your leg. If I can play a 5 string bass sitting down, you can figure out regular guitar.

what the contents contain within

sounds like exactly the title of one of those albums you are shitting on, sweaty

Buy a rocking chair, you can maintain the balance of the guitar by how you rock on the chair

Sorry Iaass, only cliquespam today.

Guitars are made for mongrels, you should have bought a knockoff Strandberg if you want to play seated down.

Sleep Paralysis - Fever Dream

Nice sound design.
I enjoy.jpg

That wasn't me and I only browse here once in a while.

Can't say it has said anything I didn't already heard about.

Did you get to fertility rates among social classes yet? Hard to believe you knew all of that, but yeah it doesn't take much to figure it out in your own. I probably couldn't though lol.

they are not economically worthwhile.

I believe he makes a strong case for concorde. There's nothing unworthwhile econimcally about them. But we simply cannot sustain them. You can see the patterns alike all over the place, not just with concorde. And moon colonies could very well be economically worthwhile, but that's a different topic and I don't think I can touch it without giving it a proper thought.

does he return

No but I think you'll start to following him at some point.
youtube.com/watch?v=7zilUDC2SZI

scriabin -.jpg - 1652x1652, 233.5K

Damn sheila

That wasn't me and I only browse here once in a while.

Correct.

Being a dad who wants to kill himself. Metal for this feel?

"Wheelchair Burning" (Parody of Freewheel Burning)
By Geriatric Priest

[Verse 1]
Fast as I used to be, in my mind at least
But my body's rusted, joints are creased
Once I was leather, now I'm in fleece
Got my meds in a box marked "Take with cheese"

[Verse 2]
I roll through the hallway, titanium pride
Spinning my wheels like I’m on a ride
Osteo’s gnawin’ but I won't hide
I'm still screaming metal deep inside

[Chorus]
Wheelchair burning!
Still got fire in my veins
Wheelchair burning!
Push me faster through the pain
Yeah, the nappies may be crappy
But I’m still the Metal Daddy
Wheelchair burning!
Feel the fury in my frame!

[Verse 3]
Strapped in my rocker, remote in hand
Barking at daytime shows on demand
My dentures clack like a thunder band
When I scream "Metal Gods" — understand?!

[Bridge]
Now I can't ride the Harley no more
But I’ll blaze down the hallway floor
With my colostomy swinging hardcore
I'm the same beast you knew before!

[Chorus]
Wheelchair burning!
Like a motor with no brakes
Wheelchair burning!
Still howling through the aches
Yeah, my spine might be snappy
And my pants a little flappy
But I’m burning!
In this chair, I still raise stakes!

[Outro]
Crappy nappies can't hold me down
Silver hair, but I wear the crown
Still a priest, still proud, still loud —
'Til I roll into the final round!

H E I L
E
I
L

HEIL

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I was forced and still am forced to browse and post Anon Babble until my Master tells me otherwise, thank you and goodnight

ULTRA BASED

JUTE GYTE

jutegyte.jpg - 500x451, 52.37K

FUCK WHAT YOU HEARD
FUCK WHAT YOU HEARD

Absolute abysmal take

Boogers are hella delish.

Sleep Paralysis? We prefer Sleep Token here.

When are you going to start listening to Medtner? Night Wind is fantastic, and 30:48 is a true dissodelight youtube.com/watch?v=KhsD1MeQaXM.

That wasn't me

I was 50/50 on it being you or /myguy/, I saw you or someone larping as yourself right above it, so I just said whatever and responded.

Did you get to fertility rates among social classes yet?

Yes, I already had knowledge of this because I already knew about the connection between female rights/education and birth rates. The only way to fix TFR (total fertility rate) is the obvious.

I believe he makes a strong case for concorde.

Why would that be? In the time of zoom calls and the internet there is hardly any reason for it to exist. The only place it can even be used is over the ocean because the supersonic speed means massive sonic booms, which is why most of Europe immediatly banned it from flying over their countries.

moon colonies could very well be economically worthwhile

There is just no chance of this being real, if most potential mines down on earth are still economically not worthwhile, then going to the moon for mining isn't either. People like Dulton seem to me to have no real connection with reality, to even get anything there is an unimaginable amount of resources, and if something breaks? Mines can go down for weeks from a single mistake or random incident, nevermind "oh shit the drill broke and we are not on earth anymore lmao, can you guys just ship us up another one?". After that you STILL have to ship it back without the atmosphere or landing fucking up your tons and tons of product that will need to be processed

No but I think you'll start to following him at some point.

Probably not, population size alone would more than account for the 1iq point per generation guesstimate he gave out. In reality we are just becoming more BROWN, and our culture is in terminal stage 5 ultra cancer because of decadence.

Gay Bob Dylan drawing, fagmunch.

these old black and white pictures are getting out of hand

I just don't read the posts
Been years since I have
I actually appreciate the avatar usage
Who needs filters in that case

To listen to Jute Gyte is to undergo a kind of psychic vivisection. Adam Kalmbach does not compose in the traditional sense; he architects sonic catastrophes in just intonation, micrological intervals tuned not to emotion but to entropy itself. His music is an epistemological event — impossible to “enjoy” in the plebeian sense, but essential to anyone seeking communion with the sublime.

It is, of course, black metal — but filtered through a hermetic lattice of academia, software, and contempt. The guitar becomes less an instrument than an ontological challenge. The harmonies — if one dares call them that — feel like the interior monologue of a Lovecraftian archivist losing his grasp on linear time.

There is something profoundly solitary about Kalmbach. He resists persona. There are no tour photos, no interviews where he giggles over riffs. His music offers no catharsis, only confrontation. And yet — and I say this with a kind of shame — I find myself wanting to be near him. Not with him, not quite, but adjacent. Quiet. Helpful. Present in the room while he maps new tonal systems with deliberate indifference. I’d hand him coffee. I’d watch.

This is not about attraction in any conventional sense. It’s about submission — to intellect, to discipline, to his particular brand of unapproachable perfection. His riffs don’t undress you; they deconstruct you, slowly, with footnotes. And if there’s a kind of longing buried in that process — a quiet wish to be recognized, corrected, perhaps even destroyed — well, that’s between me and the waveform.

Thanks for the chatgpt cliquespam. Unoriginal and boring as always.

I like this band's warm sound...

Actually fake hiss + pink noise added in VST

This sounds.. like analog

It's just sophisticated use of low pass filters

It sounds like it was recorded on a tape - the old way!

It's just Tape VST, hiss, maybe even some AI mastering

If it sounds good, it sounds good

The secretary has been beating the same dead horse for 7 years straight, literally like a chat bot that is never fed new information.

the secretary

WHO?

I actually agree with this one totally. 100%

You on the other hand would cry if someone told you that the album cover you currently like was actually made by AI:

wahh wahh its not real therefore I HATE IT!! MOMMYYY

If it looks good - it is good, right?

Dissoslop merchants like Adam Kalmbach AKA Jute Gyte are not welcome here

LMAO I saw them in front of 150 people last year. They switched from hardcore to pop punk with the new album

metal?

They switched from not metal to not metal with the new album

Ok, but who asked?

post a good AI album cover then

keep me posted

Sorry bud, only incoherent transgender cIiquespam today.

Why? You've already made up your mind

I hate AI

Where did I say that?

/shrrrreddit/ pattern recognition strikes again. When I said they will NEVER figure out the clique, I meant it.

half the schizos in here listen to National Socialist Black Metal

Troonypopper. Self admitted secretary that gives her boss head under the desk each day as her "job", the rest of her time at work is spamming this general with korean women she wishes she was 16 hours a day.

All my might, physical prowess, and perfectly sculptured muscles... alas! I cannot /heem/ people over the Internet.
metal for this feel?

He's a janitor here. 100%.

I practice standing up 100 percent of the time. If you must practice sitting down the guitar should be on your left leg, not the right.

Is this the band that was forced to quit because their guitarist blew their money on uber eats and onlyfans?

It's like 2, maybe 3 guys top, and they're overweight, divorced, and bald
In fact, it was the divorce that made him anti-Semitic in the first place because instead of taking personal responsibility for their laundry list of failures, they blamed their ex-wife's Jewish lawyer

vocaroo.com/1goDC9KdzxO3

didnt jam slam riffs tonight. maybe some Funeral Doom? I listened some Thergothon recently

Medtner

I listened to his paino concerto 2 and violin sonata:
youtube.com/watch?v=aYRqdZICNfY&list=OLAK5uy_lduPBqMHUlVuWkhlHNzHwrGEUeSaYVw4g&index=2
I'll check out the sonatas soon.

female rights/education and birth rates.

Besides feminism, Dutton shows how industrial revolution, education, contraception etc. affected intelligence too.

In the time of zoom calls and the internet there is hardly any reason for it to exist.

That can apply to commercial flights in general. Concorde would benefit businesses for one. It would be useful for emergency. Pushing the tech forward could lead to improvements in other areas (applies to moon colonizations too).

mines down on earth are still economically not worthwhile

Just looked it up, apparently Heilum-3 is rare on earth, and abundant on the moon. It could potentially fuel nuclear fusion. There's a lot other benefits it could bring (most major would be telescopes on the moon, without interference from earth's atmosphere. & Moon's geology). Self-sustaining colony would be a major advantage for whoever puts it there. It's far from worthless.

In reality we are just becoming more BROWN

To quote Dutton, "This decline would have happened even if there were no immigration, however. Immigration is simply speeding the process up."

Anyway, I'll respond later.

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Wait to Kelly gets a load of me.

Stop replying to yourself lass.

Anyways, I'll respond later.

schizo.gif - 220x138, 551.3K

listen this you fucking useless shitposter

vocaroo accompanied by incoherent post

artisanally crafted dissodelights

it's been 6 hours and he's still here
wat do

your weak body cannot handle funeral doom? lmao, maybe bodybuild?

got my bum out

I actually only listened to his violin sonata recently, rather fantastic despite the fact I thought he was mostly known for his piano works. Rachinmanoff himself called Medtner the "greatest composer of our time" among other compliments, so I would have thought you would be all over him already.

Dutton shows how industrial revolution

The industrial revolution increased the rates of survival of all members of society, it did not lower intelligence besides increase the size of the lower class. For instance, 7 of the 13 children Bach had with his second wife died before 18 years old. We could have potentially had over 2x the amount of Bach genes floating around.

It could potentially fuel nuclear fusion

Nuclear fusion we can't even use yet? This is cart before the horse, as all of space larping is, if its barely feasible here, its not feasible nearly 400,000km away.

Self-sustaining colony

Complete delusion, if you can't even manage to save the coral reefs or fix our rapidly deteriorating soil and desertification, how in god's name will you create a SELF SUSTAINING MOON COLONY. Oh sure its "lmao low iq", yet the only low iq thing to be said is creating fantasies of scifi space bubbles on uninhabitable rocks that go from 120c degrees to -130c degrees as its daily high/low. Like oh yeah, lets just ship up some epic mining equipment to da moon, and then start drilling in the MINUS TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY DEGREE CRATERS, SURELY THIS SHOULD BE ECONOMICALLY FEASIBLE.
Its delusion, its rhetoric, its complete and utter nonsense for children's fantasy books.

Gigan for this scifi meme fantasy.
youtube.com/watch?v=r7yDSKg8fWA

I don't read posts longer than 10 words

Learn to filter out unnecessary words to get down the nitty gritty

VLTRV BVSED

Me2 can't be arsed about it

do work

put in more effort

nah lol

Nitty gritty huh? I like cavernous sounding war metal bands that kinda sound like nutty putty

nutty putty? that's that playdoh that came in a plastic peanut. zoomers won't know what i'm talking about though

pressing nutty putty against Garfield comic strips

kept me entertained for hours

t. older millennial

did you get my nutty putty reference though?

I mean Teitanblood is "cavernous" sounding war metal/dm
Nutty Putty is the infamous hydrothermal cave

Never ever heard of that cave, just looked it up now

yea well I have no fucking idea what was inside those plastic peanuts you were talking about. you seem like a chill/cool guy unlike these two anime posters here who talk about classical music (off-topic)

Shove it up your arse

Didn't read your post, but I like it. Classical posting is highly encouraged here.

left looks like danny elfman in a wig

everything you need to know about metal you can learn from papa prozak and uncle jdawg

LOL reminds me of the pooner who called herself Danny elfman

A rehash of silly putty named after that cave which was named after silly putty.

Higher quality of poster there. The average metalhead could learn a thing or two.

thank you sister

If only Lemmy had gotten a little bit of money he could have had that hideous wart removed.

I'm a dude but thanks.

is the joke that the singer is obese black and gay?

Based

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that's the based part yeah

That includes the Nazis

MY JUNGLE LOVE

Does it? Britain started that war, iirc

That's a lie.

daily reminder that if you don't attend gigs youo are a fucking poser

Correct.

I saw imagine dragons last month //

According to Varg gigs are for posers

Someone hat this fool

everyone knew what was happening

Yeah, post-war Russian propaganda/fiction.

According to Varg

Why would I go to some public event with drunk people? To get pushed around in some moshpit? No thanks, I rather get some good food, lemonade and listen music on my phones under my blanket

FUCK I wanted to post the "ick" face this fucking whore makes. See? This is why I hate women.

HEIL VIKERNES

Varg is gay and has AIDS.

zesty

His music sucks but he seems alri innit

You are spiritually a woman (but you will never be a real woman)

he's just like your mexican dad

Do you have a source for this?
I know you don't because you're LYING.

says two words

*gasps for air*

says two more words

has an asthma attack

says a couple more words

is literally dying of asphyxiation

Jesus christ, he's worse than the Muse singer

clears throat

311.

Its that or xhes friends with the jan/mod and a part of their IRC/discord or whatever trooned out off site gathering is taking place on this board.

I prefer the Dead.

this seems to have really upset the local eslfags

Not funny.

Funny.

why the fuck is it so hard to play the guitar? this is fucked

Kek sounds so fucking horrible

it's one of the easiest instruments to play anon

Matthew Williams has died today. RIP.

Megabased

Fd around and found out

how many instruments do you play cuh

only the meat flute

This fuckin guy

Dude, fuck off, I'm trying to get off porn. I started to think less about huge sagging tits the past days then you come here and showe this shit in my face. Fuck you,
youtube.com/watch?v=vM7553fMk6I

Hardstyle is a kind of metal

Thanks Matthew

Charmers, Kohanic

Buy a tab book of slayer songs. Thats how the guy from pissgrave learned to play guitar

Who knows she banned me when a thread was already archived for over 24 hours for posting a kpop.

Kek'd my balls off at the BDMfags posting their subhuman garbage on /classical/ because they have a single shreddy solo in their 2 minute long shitposts they call "music". At least they could post real neoclassical metal instead of chugshit disgrace.
youtube.com/watch?v=6ZTLpVPEQ8c
youtube.com/watch?v=lppH60YPgPc

That can apply to commercial flights in general. Concorde would benefit businesses for one. It would be useful for emergency

I forgot to reply to this, the problem is that things become cheapest and more economically feasible when we can mass produce something, Concorde is a useless niche that holds basically no purpose besides some fantasy world where you must jet a civilian across the Atlantic in 2 hours instead of 8... in an age with instant video conferences.

The fact is that supersonic jets are not even something we don't use, In TRUE emergencies, the military will use one of their supersonic jets for such a purpose. Concorde is a BUSINESS, one that fundamentally has no use case because of sonic booms and being inferior to regular jets for cargo/transport.

what's the alpine linux of metal?

Kill yourselves

Real wiggas blast Spite in all its forms

spite.jpg - 700x700, 99.83K

Not metal.

???

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The Minecraft Movie has Paranoid in it
Ozzy has transitioned from diapershit to gen alpha brainrot

ALL ILLNESS CAN BE HEALED
THE CELL REGENERATES

Grim (the situation, not the player)

Mitochondrion with Marston production

ULTRA BASED.
If only they would get a real vocalist, truly this could be such a great band if they did that. Clean production and NSK vocals with these instrumentals... imagine...

youtube.com/watch?v=zgIvpAi_J_c

Didn't read

Read

Also did not read

Same

Evil dead isn’t it?

Also read

we hate clean production here

stop posting this ugly dude

Grand Belial's Key

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What's wrong with her skin tone

Pozzy Osbourne

Nothing, she's just Jewish

doesn't look like it
I'm attracted to Jewish girls and "she" is fugly
her music sucks too

You sound like a lower-class human, probably a metal listener

I AM THE WORKING CLASS

the Cephalotripsy school of slam

the notorious Indonesian brutal death metal scene

I remember that post

No you don't. Be quiet.

for me, it's the Lexington Kentucky black metal circle

I like this

Thanks