/metal/

Artist: Darkthrone
Album: Panzerfaust
Song: Beholding The Throne of Might

And destruction upon the holy man

Who hails a jew

Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it is opened.

dead general

Morbid Angel

the dawg be praised

You have to delete one track off this thing - what's it going to be and why is it Damage Inc.?

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Grow up.

*deletes the entire album*
ahh much better

not metal

new Kravecum Ultrafail album be like

which is the bigger disappointment

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(You)

The joke is how much the tropes of Satanism/Paganism and simple, drawn out tremolos were recycled during the second wave.

Kvist

Too melodic

Bethlehem

Moonblood

Too melodic/"Epic"

Abigor

Too technical

The rest have been added into consideration but I'll only update it if I have enough to make another row (of 12)

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Ultra was a bigger disappointment. Satanic Warmaster has always been bottom of the barrel derivative BM (hence why it's like one of three new albums I included here , the music just genuinely has not evolved since the early 2000s and as such it would be right at home there even though it was released not even half a year ago) but Kaevum actually did seem to evolve their sound on Kultur. But Ultra turned out to just be a step backwards in every way.

Clandestine Blaze, Vlad Tepes, Nehemah

tropes

Only third wave is real

wait, the joke isn't that you were just adding as many random black metal albums to a chart as possible?

stone sour is the k-pop of metal
change my mind

The peak of metal?

Stone sour is just butt rock

i-i must keep posting the s-same posts!!

severe autism

Cannibal Corpse

Neither. It's impossible to be disappointed by a genre that has always sucked.

Insomnium is my favorite band

Internal Bleeding

Never heard of half this garbage. Analepsy? Traumatomy?

i don't have to hide 5 stone sour threads every time i refresh Anon Babble so no

Mortician
I'm now hungry for panda express

and so is k-pop
for me it's batushka

jungle rot twice in the same column

real effort put into this one

Uhh? cool it with the bigotry?

Never heard of Analepsy

Do yourself a favour.

taake or batushka

Insomnium is elegant and sophisticated. Hour of Penance is sophisticated.

slamsloppa

No thanks.

Varg "The Goatraper of the Bretagne" Vikernes has sadly passed away from a foreskin-related injury.

Varg

if you dont like deicide you dont like death metal

that's not morbid angel

at a gig I've seen a dude with a bald spot on the back of his head and a big smiley face was tattooed in the middle of it

Both are shit

NUCLEAR LEVEL HAPPENING

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You clearly didn’t even listen to the album, you monumental retard. It is an expansion on Kultur in every way from the vocals to the songwriting. It is all more varied and complex.

That was just a kippah

at a gig i've seen a guy with a total bald on top horseshoe but the hair in the back went down to his waist

literally what

Cool I'll pretend to have known of them before this and post AOTY over and over when their new album comes out

Underrated post

Good morning Matthew

nice nagyung

that would be Blut aus nord.

Poonerdull sucks

actual blastings?

we love funeral here

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Nazimusic is so cringes

Well excuse me, I've been busy doing the same thing with Kaevum.

Not what I intended but I wouldn’t be surprised if some people took it that way cause it certainly can look that way. Noted, and I’ve also just remembered that I’ve been meaning to put DSO’s second album on there.

That's not Mütiilation.

I delete all tracks except for Battery.

why does metal get normalfags and incels so assmad? you don't see such hate for any other genre

Any fifth wave Serbian AI antidog black metal

/thread

they don't understand it

sorry he got banned yesterday and apparently he's too stupid to evade

meant to reply to

you were warned for racism

lol poo's mad

Definitively Weedeater. Need some sludge? There you go. Simple as.

Why are posts like this permitted?
Really makes you wonder...

Would you cry if it was true? Would you cry for Varg?

Burzum (Genius)

Did you cry a month ago when your shit was laid bare?

Yeah, pooped my pants as well.

how widespread is scat-fetishism in germany?

Soilwork
Artificial Brain

/metal/ meetup at dawgs fest?

This is the only /metal/-approved haircut

kids welcome

so you're an extreme outlier?

dawg behind bushes

MMMMMM-HMM

those descriptions

that ''"artwork""

lol
lmap

The dawg is a pedo

don't make fun out of the dawg brah brah

Why did J-Dawg name himself after a black rapper?

he's wants to take his wife's son

I fucking hate being a metalhead so much.
My ugly long hair is always greasy and I dont shower as much as I want to because my friends say a real metalhead must smell a bit.
Why are we so stupid?

DVVM mogs yet again

Malignancy

Playing Entire 1999 Goated as fuck Brutal Death album classick 'Intrauterine Cannibalism' plus extra hits.

kek Dawg is afraid to admit that he likes something technical

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tool.
you listen to one song and you've heard them all and they get boring quick but that song is usually a 8/10.

weekend is already gone

why do I have to work

so you don't starve or go homeless

can I say Children of Bodom or are they someone's favorite?

Well, Ultra sucks. Can we stop posting Kaevum now? Thanks.

I never heard of 3/4 of them...

fucking hell

i appreciate that one guy who reminded me of those other bands

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you're welcome

we HEIL ALVXI round here

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I mean I was looking for a band that we like, but isn't favorite.

but that's like most bands besides kaevum (which is the favorite)

I'm sure they are lot of people's favorite band as a gateway to extreme metal

I get snobbish about MDM and melodeath, but I listened to Follow the Reaper a couple weeks ago and found the slop to be tasty

I prefer Hatebreeder

all caps lyricpost with anime character or Donald Duck yelling image

We're SO back

dumb silly metalheads

Actually, we are very serious and intelligent.

yeah sure sure

that's one of the reasons they came to mind because they're a gateway into Melodeath, just like Panda Express is a gateway into Chinese food.
Not saying they're bad at all.

Hey Heck if you read this start a thread in "the clubhouse"

I think I'll try to sell my inquisition ticket, I'd rather just go home to see my mom

Smoking meth is metal!!!! \m//

He's done with Anon Babble bro

Children of Bodom are pretty decent but their lyrics are awful

Only edgy 16 year old would call his album "Are You Dead Yet?"

go fuck your cats

remove Fobidden from that list, you zoom zoom poser

FUCK DOGNIGGERS

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mean

Are you really trans?

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Fake

FUCK cats
FUCK female korean pop singers
FUCK Kauvum

Metal is for people with mental issues, addicts, and criminals. Metalheads are the kind of people that make you look over you shoulder at night, or cross the street when you see coming.

Thanks idiot

Metal is for people with mental issues, addicts, and criminals. Metalheads are the kind of people that make you look over you shoulder at night, or cross the street when you see coming.

*
yeeah so very evil people like teddy bears holding butter knives

I prefer my trusty battleaxe actually.

Metal is for people with mental issues, addicts, and criminals. Metalheads are the kind of people that make you look over you shoulder at night, or cross the street when you see coming.

YOU KNOW IT BROTHER

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there's a random H at the end
it's not fake

Hell ya!

Slayer ftw

Not band, but album.

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Sippin beer, blasting Windir!

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Megadeth is one of the greatest bands of all time.

Quake does have some good music

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Metallica is one of the better than Megadeth bands of all time.

The Eucharist

ah shit here we go again
heh I never made that connection

Metallica is shit, their only good album is Ride the Lightning, even then it's ruined by the vocals. Hetfield's voice is like nails on chalkboard.

their only good album is Ride the Lightning

What about Kill em All? Which coincidentally is the only good album Dave Mustardstain took some part in.

youthanasia shits all over kill em all

Well I don't see what Chinese children have in common with Kill em All.

underrated melodeath

The joke is how much the tropes of Satanism/Paganism and simple, drawn out tremolos were recycled during the second wave.

???
That's just the fundamental elements of the style. Of course there's loads of copycats, it's like that in literally every genre of music

Inherently

Maybe it's the beer talkin' but Saknet is one of the best songs of all time.

Great!

I think you dropped something...

Slam has Cephalotripsy, but what doom metal band takes doom to its limits without doing something like funeral doom? What sounds as doom metal as possible, as often as possible?

I think I've reached the upper limit of how far I can possibly stretch this without delving into meloshit or symphoshit as well as resorting to just adding random literal who bands.

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Just a great chart for black metal. Well done anon.

I always get the urge to check out some bm albums but whenever I put one on after like 2 songs I start wondering why the hell am I not listening to basically anything else?

nvm I switched out Funeral for In The Woods because they're more well known and have a bigger demo. I think this should really be it though.
I should reiterate, I wouldn't recommend most of those bands/albums to beginners, for several reasons.

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I know you're a poser trying to "own" black metallers. But the reality is it's just a great chart you picked out.

Hello autism department

What the fuck is 'I am the Intimidator' doing there lmao

trve kvlt USPM

I am the Intimidator sounds gay as fuck and not intimidating.

I added three bands as jokes to see if anyone would catch them or if I could dupe a genuinely new listener into checking them out. Though that one's probably obvious so I've replaced with with Keys to the Astral Gates and Cosmic Doors (and specifically the only release that doesn't have its name stick out like a random boner). Not replacing the other two.

And I'm done here. For real this time.

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I am albino
Hero

Coffee and cake, a classic combination for sure.

I forgot all about this band. I listened to them a lot in my "wow, women can be in metal bands too?" phase.

Why are zoomers so suck ass at metal? There isn't a single zoomer metal band of significance.

Knocked Loose, motherfuckers

With a lot of bands you don't know a damn thing about the bandmembers, as it should be.

he doesn't know about Nikhil

this image is what it's like trying to post on the metallum forums

No one knows any of these bands. The sign of a great band is forming a following of fans that grows with each new album. Zoomers suck shit so bad they listen to bands in a bubble of 1000 other people in the world that listen to the same band.
I'll check them out but I bet they sound derivative and unmemorable

No, for the top he's insulting extreme metal. The bottom is someone insulting doom metal.
That's metallum.

because they don't like metal, shows are always full of old dudes

bands are popular because they are good, and bands are good because they are popular

You are an imbecile

You're full of old dudes

The sign of a great band is forming a following a drooling idiots that grows with each new album.

gets proven wrong

"uhhhh ackshually nobody knows about them!"

fuck off retard

Lol

Metallum is literally metal-themed r*ddit

slams

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Fixed
I have literally never met anyone get pissy/selective over metal edginess in real life. It is entirely internet bullshit

Original is better and funnier

Original is better and funnier

Do you even live in north America/Europe
There are plenty of people who will get butthurt, I remember that they shut down a Satanic Warmaster show in The Netherlands because he is "muh ebil nahtzee"

lel

they shut down a Satanic Warmaster show in The Netherlands because he is "muh ebil nahtzee"

ok, so the show organisers probably got sent death threats on facebook
my point still stands

MA is intolerable. They're literally geriatric and get excited about the 30th full-length album from bands that formed in the 80's

"uhm ackchyually it was probably this thing I just pulled out of my ass to make myself seem correct"

This is how I look when I post usually

Find a band I haven't listened to before

"Hey this albums cool"

Go to MA

2 reviews averaged at 40%

Everytime! I always inverse MA.

Oldest Mayhem fans